8th day

i'm drowning...
reaching for a hand that i thought fits mine
waiting for the voice that can give me comfort
gasping for the scent that used to be so familiar

and yet
i still ... am alone

missing you another day ...

7 days
it has been one week

gosh...
this is what's happening to me recently

every morning
i open my eyes
the first thing that came across my mind is:
what changes you so drastically??

i tried
i tried to fight this thoughts

i tried
i tried to keep myself occupy
i tried to keep myself busy
so i wont have time and space to think of you

but
everything reminds me of you
yes..... EVERYTHING

and this morning
early morning
i woke up around 4 something in the early morning
and i cant sleep back

i sit on the chair
in a dark room where i cant even see my own shadow
sitting there alone
starring at the wall
and then
i think of you again.............

i hate this feelings ... it makes me feel like collapsing

sixth day i missed you

today
i decided not to send you 'Good Morning' as usual as i always wake up before you do

i'm just wondering
when will you approach first??
what will you text me??

i'm just wondering
will you freak out like you used to??
when you cant find me through phone
when i dint text you in the morning
or when i reply you message late

so
i was wondering
and i waited and waited

the clock strikes 12
12 in the mid-night
end of the day

and i've never heard from you
not a word

dear darlin,
you asked for my friends number before
you said
IF something happened to me
at least you can reach for help

dear darlin,
i guess
IF i happened to die here
i guess you wont even notice now

i'm sad.......................

hate myself for missing you ...

Starry Night

Fifth day i lost you

i was walking to the water shop blocks away to buy drinking water
还记得那个时候都会有你在电话的令一头陪着我
还会叫我下次早点出门 太晚了 危险

今晚的自己 看着地上一个人的影子
好讽刺 好孤单

starring up to the dark blue sky
it was rather a starry night
and the thought of i've never got the chance to spend the night enjoying a starry night view with you come across my mind
is it still possible to do so??

remember the drawing i gave you the night before i leave??
the "Starry Night" ...??
and you asked me: how long did i use to complete the art work
and i remember, you call it a masterpiece
well then...............

"do think of me every starry night...
love, grace"

永远的第一天

失恋的第四天
闭上眼睛
静静地听着这首歌
一首远距离恋爱的歌曲
好感动 感动到让人流泪
曾经何时
也想过我会有这么一天
三年后的那一天

天啊
是我太执着吗？？

一时之间
我该怎么放下
该怎么忘记

深夜　機場冷清好安靜　我終於看見了妳
穿著風衣　提著行李　聽著CD 走來走去

回憶　傳進心裡全是妳　我走過去抱緊妳
妳的聲音　妳的笑容　妳的淚滴　回到我懷裡

妳答應我　今天飛來　帶著你遲來的真愛
就飛過大海　帶愛情回來

今天看見永遠的第一天　終於實現我和妳的諾言
時間將一切拉遠　愛在心裡沒有改變

今天看見愛飛過地平線　當我說完我對妳的誓言
這是另一個起點　我一定愛妳到永遠

回憶　傳進心裡全是妳　我走過去抱緊妳
妳的聲音　妳的笑容　妳的淚滴　回到我懷裡

妳答應我　今天飛來　我要在這一秒鐘說
I Love I Love I Love You 說永遠不分開
今天看見永遠的第一天　終於實現我和妳的諾言
時間將一切拉遠　愛在心裡沒有改變
今天看見　愛的第一天

今天看見永遠的第一天　終於實現我和妳的諾言
時間將一切拉遠　愛在心裡沒有改變

今天看見愛飛過地平線　當我說完我對妳的誓言
這是另一個起點　我一定愛妳到永遠　到永遠

我想
你永远都不会知道
我是这么想的

missing someone i knew so well ... but felt so strange

还可能吗？

2008年07月26日

失恋的第三天

我第四次来到马六甲鸡场街
我第四回在想
哪一天可以跟你紧紧手牵着手
从街头逛到街尾

you said before
after you greaduate
you can come to find me in Melacca when i cant go back to Penang often
you remember??

you tell me that day
that after you greaduate
we can go shopping in Singapore together
and we can ask Maya to give us trip guide there
ask Bear to come along
you remember??

you knew
i've longed to go to Genting again
and you say
you shall accompany me go up there
you remember??


还可能吗？？

this feeling of missing you ... but there's nothing i can do

2008年07月25日 雨

2008年07月25日 雨

失恋的第二天

凌晨三点我洗了个澡 漫无目的的在徘徊 剩下的我还有什么可以做？？

Then I decided to listen to some music

I reach for my mp3

Its [Forevermore] playing……………..

This is the song we listen to the most in your car

We used to sit inside the car, hugging each other, lying in your arms quietly and just listening to this song

So simple but yet so sweet

I miss that time so much

Your temperature, your hug, your kisses, your car scent…….

What else is left in me…..??

I have to suddenly cut off all my feelings just because you call it off that you cannot stand the miserable feeling because we’re far apart from each other…….

I’m sorry

I really am…………..

Sorry for dragging you in this

Sorry for leaving before you do

I’m sorry I can’t be there to celebrate your birthday with you as your girlfriend

I wish I can

I really do

How I wish I can spend the whole day with my boyfriend during his birthday

Giving him a very special birthday kiss

But have you ever realize

I’m not beside you

But I’m always with you

You are always in my heart

And you’ll always have me

And you’ve never lost me

I’m sorry I can’t be with you when you’re having pressure

I’m sorry I can’t hold your hands tight

I’m sorry I can’t hug you warm

I’m sorry I can’t give you comfort when you need it the most

What I can do is just call up to talk to you

For you to release the tends

And sending you messages to keep you up

You remember??

I’m sorry

I never wish to come here………….never

But what else can I do??

I give up this, I give up my studies

I take this, I lost you

I was having dilemma for doing this decision

But truly from my heart, I really hope you can hang on, don’t give up holding this hand tight

I used to think that

As I’m miles away

The only think I can do is talking to you online

At least I can speak to you face to face

And can see you when I miss you

And you can always call up on me

What I’ve ask for is just a call to talk before I sleep at night

Listening to your voice can do beyond than comfort me

I’ve encounter so much capalang things here

And yet I don’t like being away from you and come to this bloody hell alone

But yet,

The day I’m most afraid of approach as well

…………………………………….

How I wish I can stop you from leaving

But I don’t know how

How I wish I can stop you from giving up

But there’s no point for me to keep holding on for this

when you’ve already given up

不用担心

我不会为了把你留下来而故意表现得脆弱

没错

自从和你在一起

你似乎成为我脆弱的理由

可是

你可能不知道你简简单单的一句话足以让我开怀一整天

有你的安慰 我不再流泪

有你的体温 我有被保护的感觉

有你的肩膀 我有个依靠

有你的日子是如此的完美

在一起的时光曾几何时是如此幸福快乐

被你牵着的感觉我永远不会忘记

。

。

。

我想念你

可是

我能够做些什么？？

what’s left on me??

What you said that night:

‘ i guess losing me is nothing to you also lar...’

Hurts me badly

i hate myself ... for i miss you

我失恋了。。。

2008年07月24日

我 失 恋 了 。 。 。


一首首听惯的情歌
一幕幕往事的回忆

痛彻心扉的感觉

以往的温柔不再
以往的安慰不再

留下来的是被逼斩断的爱意
还没准备好的心情
不想放弃的意愿
来不及挽回的情感
我可以向谁述说

i hate myself for loving you so much
i cant even find a reason to hate you back......

this is not how i actually imagine us to be

since we were together
i'm no longer who i am
i'm a total stranger to myself
i used to laugh my way through chaos in my life
i used to make my own way through difficulties
i used to live alone in darkness, in loneliness withot fear

i am now weaker then i thought i would be

i hate myself for starring at the phone waiting for your message
i hate myself for holding on the phone whole night waiting your contact ringtone to play
i hate myself for being weak
i hate myself when i cry alone in the night because i've missed you so much
i hate myself for distracted from wat i'm supposed to do



and now......
there's nothing i can do anymore

it has always been you who're talking and giving decision

how much i wanna share with you about my life here
how much i cherished what we had together
how much i missed you one day and the other

now that i have a conclusion;
guys will always say:
I'm sorry, it has been so long i never see you, never feel you, never touch you....my feelings fade....
girls are naif enough to say:
I miss you more and more each and everyday

i hate myself...for i miss you